Bonfire Night looks lovely in photographs. All those colours in the sky, children wrapped up in coats, somebody holding a hot chocolate. The reality with a toddler can be quite different. It is dark, it is late, there are crowds, and the bangs are much louder than you expected.
As a mum to Darcey and Freya, I have learnt not to measure a family outing by how long we manage to stay. If a child is frightened of fireworks, I would much rather change the plan than spend the evening trying to persuade them they are having fun.
First, do you actually need to go?
If your toddler is scared of fireworks, there is no rule that says they need to get used to a big display this year. Some children love the lights but hate the noise. Others are fine with the first few bangs and then suddenly have had enough.
Watching a few fireworks through the window, going to a quieter spot further away, or simply staying in for a cosy evening are all perfectly good options. You can try again another year.
Explain the bangs before they happen
Young children often find unexpected noises more upsetting than ones they understand. I would keep the explanation very simple: “There might be loud bangs tonight. They are fireworks in the sky. We can watch if you want, and we can go inside whenever you need to.”
The Dudley Group NHS guidance on sound sensitivity recommends preparing children for noises when possible, explaining where the sound comes from and offering reassurance. You do not need to turn it into a big lesson. A quick chat in daylight is enough.
If they want to know what fireworks look like, you could show a picture or watch a short video with the volume low. If they are not interested, I would leave it there.
If you go to a display, plan how to leave
For me, the most useful bit of planning is not the tickets or the snacks. It is knowing how we can get out without a drama.
Choose an organised display with space to stand away from the busiest area. Arrive early enough that you are not rushing. Keep hold of little hands in crowds, and agree with the other grown-up where you will meet if you get separated.
For a very loud event, properly fitting children’s ear defenders may help. Somerset NHS guidance distinguishes occasional use at loud events such as firework displays from everyday use, which it does not recommend as a routine solution for sound sensitivity.
And if your child asks to leave after two minutes, leave. I would not make them stay for the grand finale just because we have made the effort to get there.
Comfort matters more than a perfect outfit
A cold, tired toddler in scratchy clothes is unlikely to feel better about a noisy evening. I would go for familiar layers, comfortable shoes and a proper warm outer coat. A soft sweatshirt and leggings underneath are the sort of simple combination I reach for when the temperature drops.
Take a drink, a small snack and something comforting from home if they have a favourite. If Nan is coming too, it helps if everyone knows the plan is flexible rather than a mission to see every firework.
Please skip sparklers for under-fives
This is the part I would not compromise on. Sparklers can look harmless, but they get extremely hot. The Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents says not to give sparklers to children under five, and never to hold a baby while using one.
For older children, follow the organiser’s rules and the safety guidance. If you are deciding between a home display and an organised one, the London Fire Brigade recommends attending an organised display as the safer option.
What if the bangs carry on at bedtime?
Sometimes the hardest part is not a display at all. It is being at home when fireworks start outside just as you are getting everyone ready for bed.
I would keep the normal bedtime routine as familiar as possible. Close the curtains, offer a cuddle if it is wanted, and explain calmly what the noise is. A quiet story or gentle background sound might help if your child finds the sudden bangs startling. You do not need to promise the noise will stop in five minutes when you cannot know that.
It is also worth remembering that Bonfire Night is close to the autumn clock change. If bedtime is already feeling unsettled, our realistic toddler sleep plan may be useful.
A lovely Bonfire Night can be a quiet one
There is something quite nice about taking the pressure off. A warm bath, pyjamas, a favourite book and a peek out of the window can be enough. The children do not need a big event for the evening to feel special.
And if they are frightened, I would start with comfort rather than trying to talk them out of it. That is something I think about with big feelings after nursery too. We can acknowledge how they feel without making the feeling bigger.
There will be other fireworks. There is no prize for getting through this year’s display.
Steph x
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